Tried Sleeping With a Broken Heart

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

The next paragraph, I warn you, will be a bit of an incoherent backlash from a seemingly damaged person.  I wrote this last night  when I was so full of emotion that I just typed in whatever came next from my muddled brain into my blackberry.  Sorry for the misspellings and absolutely lack of respect  for grammar.  I would like to preserve it as it is.

Ever felt that feeling as if someone was stabbing your heart gruesomely with a double serrated knife and twisting it 360 dgrees so that the gaping wound will nevr ever close and leave you gasping for and wishing the earth would open up and swalloe u whole?
what did u do if you've had? did you scream and shouted and let it all out? did you kept it all to yourself? or did u blame it on evry thing, petty or huge enough to make it seem like the whole universe and the knife holder are scheming against you? if u havent, then ur one lucky organism. but if have, then cheers to all of us and all our  wrecked up butchered hearts!
i want to cry but i wont. i am ashamed already as it is.  today i saw someone in the streets which disturbed me to the very core.  the jeepny ride was excruciating cause i couldnt cry infront of all those people.  no not anymore. i used to, but never anymore.  when i got home i just wanted to tear my hair all away and let the tears pour in. instead, i got angry and made a fuss on all the insignificant things like my lost slippers, why my blanket changed or my belt on the floor. 
venting out my frustrations on those things is a good unacceptable way of disturbing the house at 10:30 when all else are sleeping already. selfishly thogh, i didnt care less.  the dont have a heart that has just been brutalized.
Now I clim aboard on my bed let the tears fall in silent and int the vast cover of darkness..



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